I'm so depressed right now.. I don't even have a decent picture with him.. this photo was taken when he was a month old.. he's 7 months already.. but he died last friday.. and I just can't get over the fact that he's gone..
It probably hurts most because I give him a bath..
I play with him the most..
I take him outside the house to poop..
When your pet dies.. you just..
can't help but feel sad most of the time..
can't stop thinking of the funny moments you've spent with him..
can't stop thinking if it's feeding time for him if he's still here..
always remember his habits..
remember the tricks he did..
can't sleep..
can't forget..
can't help but smile whenever your say his name.. probably thinking of a funny moment.. again..
I mean I could go on forever but reliving every memory won't get him back here.. I can play with my other pets but it's not the same.. and my other dogs are depressed too.. you know.. they also "look" for him.. wonder.. they may not really know what's going on but.. you feel that it's also bothering them..
I'm a DOG-LOVER big time.. and this situation has been very hard for me.. aww.. he looks like this..
and I can't help but grin.. and.. feel sad also..
It's so hard for me because whenever I go home I go straight to my pet dogs and play with them.. I'm really a serious person at home.. I'm really quiet here.. I swear.. I hardly ever show my real emotions to anyone here.. even to my closest friends.. I have no outlet.. so I shower all my attention to those pets.. and.. I guess that's why I can't bear it.. my pet Borgy means the world to me.. even if he licks my face and it's so.. gah.. I'm sure gonna miss it.. most specially how he lies on his back and I rub his tummy and he gets the hind leg tingles.. he has one really tickly paw.. and how I scrub his webbed feet whenever it's bath time.. I'm sure gonna miss him..
I know it's kinda pathetic to write about it.. but the reason I really wrote about it is because I hate our veterinarian.. she's a real bitch! I can't explain it but she's totally useless.. this is the second dog that died under her care.. it's like she doesn't care.. I don't want to talk about it.. but.. It's really hard when you see how your dog dies.. Borgy was really GASPING for AIR!!! I can't help but cry all throughout.. the night before he died he was so sick but he still wagged his tail and stood up for me when I came out of the door to check on him
.. All I did was pat him.. scratch his head.. try to at least make him feel better, in the least possible way.. and then I promised him that he'll get better soon because we followed everything the vet said.. and I'll play with him and Lilo (my other dog, beagle) when he does, and I'll give him a bath and share with him a little cheeseburger, if i can.. He's so sick and I can't do anything about it.. all we can do is follow the vet's orders.. which was so stupid.. and those orders dehydrated my dog leading to some serious shock and heart attack or something.. I just can't bear it.. My mom told me he's going to die and I lashed out on her (sorry,mom..
), I uttered: "DON'T SAY THAT" so loudly I think the whole street heard it.. I'm just so passionate about dogs.. I love 'em.. He died at 8:32 AM.. then I went to my room.. cried.. that's all that i can do.. and I talked to GOD.. and I must admit.. I was mad.. It's also like a real person dying.. it's a living spirit that went away.. I know that it's not like my "someone" died.. but that's the point.. I don't have one.. that's why I treat my Friends as my "someone" each and everyone of them.. and that goes to my pets too.. they're the only ones I have in this world..
This is my Goodbye to you, Borgy
I miss you so much.. I hope you're in a place where you can eat all of the burgers you try to steall off of my mouth and where someone else can play tug-o-war with your cloth chew bone toy.. I will see you someday..